but only if you’re a pancake
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Was feeling so far away from you so I spent the last hour googling pictures of you. Somehow it actually worked.
I know I’m kind of crazy, but I guess that’s OK idk.
I miss you.
I don’t know know how to adequately explain this so anyone will understand that it wasn’t about sex for me and Dave. I understand how from the outside looking in, it appears that way, but it wasn’t. That’s what makes it so hard now. It truly wasn’t about sex. That’s not to say that I didn’t have legitimately mindblowing sex with him, but that was simply a byproduct of everything else. That was only possible because of the way we felt about each other, the way we connected. The sex was just a physical way to express those feelings. It’s going to be the easiest part of this to walk away from.
I can’t get him out of my head telling me that he thought we needed to stop and then saying, “That was so hard even to say… But there it is…”
I keep silently repeating his name in my head. I don’t even notice I’m doing it until 10 or so in. David David David, like some kind of manic, chanted prayer. I don’t know what I’m praying for, exactly. I think for time to turn back to when we were together and things were simply good. I hate that we can never go back to that.
dennys